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Author's Note: If you are familiar with the J-Drama "Last Friends" and the J-Pop group Kanjani8... Welcome. You're in for loads of tears. Russia is Ryo. As for the rest of you, welcome to you too. This may or may not be as painful for you.
Also...
Sup.
~~
You were not like any other girl. You never knew your father, your mother was a frequent-drunk who would spend all her money on random crap instead of on her share of the rent, you worked at a hair salon where one of your co-workers was horribly cruel to you, all that stuff.
But the bright side to all this was that you had the sweetest boyfriend ever.
Or so you thought.
Lately, Ivan had been different since you moved into his apartment with him.
You guessed it started when you ran into your best friend from high school- Alfred.
Ivan had started to think that you were cheating on him with Alfred- when really, you were just catching up.
At first, it was just yelling.
Then it grew to pushing.
Then beating.
And pretty soon, he started to threaten to kill himself.
Three attempts.
Ivan smoked one day while you were working late. When you came home, you saw that Ivan had burn marks on his wrist.
"You were late. So I put the burning end of my cigarette on my wrist," Ivan said, as if it didn't really matter.
The second attempt, he grabbed a butcher knife from the kitchen. He called you while you were leaving the hair salon.
"I'm going to cut myself" was all Ivan said before hanging up.
You were freaked out. You began to run as fast as you could.
As you burst into the apartment, you saw an apple on the counter- the butcher knife stabbed inside.
You found Ivan sitting at the kitchen table, his head in his hands.
The third attempt, he had convinced you to trim his hair.
As you were about to cut his hair, his hand shot up and gripped yours- the scissors in it. He began to pull the scissors towards his ear.
"I- Ivan, l- let go!"
Not listening, he growled, "Don't cut any more men's hair. Other than mine."
"W- what!?"
"I visited your work today. I saw you trimming Arthur's hair," Ivan said, his hand still pulling.
Your eyes welled up, trying to pry your hand away. "I- I promise I won't cut any more men's hair! N- now please, l- let go!"
"..." Ivan let go and stood up. He walked off without another word.
You fell to your knees on the floor, tears escaping your [e/c] eyes.
You thought the insanity would end, but it only got worse.
You found out that Ivan had pushed Arthur down some concrete stairs, and that Ivan had attacked Alfred.
It was one thing to kick you down and give you a black eye and a split lip, but hurting your close friends as well...?
Soon, it grew too much.
You confronted Ivan about it, but...
When you woke up in your bed, you felt a pain in your sides.
You tried your best to get dressed, and when you walked out in the living room, you were shocked at what you saw on the couch.
There, lying on the couch, was Ivan. He held a wedding dress in his arms.
It could have seemed sweet...
Except for the fact there was blood. And lots of it.
Ivan was pale.
You felt your eyes well up with tears. You then noticed a note on the coffee table next to Ivan. You hesitantly picked it up and read it.
"[Name],
I'm sorry for hurting you so much... It's just... I grew jealous of how you seemed to smile more with your friends than you did with me. I was just afraid of losing you. So very afraid. I've been so alone in my childhood, so being with you... It was a really nice and warm feeling. It truly was.
I didn't mean to hurt you as much as I did.
I hope you can forgive me... But if you can't... I understand.
I cannot allow myself to hurt you anymore.
You need to be happy.
So... I decided that I don't need to live for you to be happy.
I can imagine you in this wedding dress, [Name]. And in my imagination, you're the most beautiful girl in the world.
You really are.
And so, this is goodbye.
I'll always love you, [Name]. Always.
до свидания.
-Ivan"
You let the note slip out of your hands, tears overflowing.
"I- Ivan..." You choked out.
You began to sob, covering your face with your trembling hands.
Eight months passed, and you stood at the ports, your hands on your big belly.
You were pregnant with Ivan's child.
You sighed.
After Ivan's death, you had moved to a different city, far away from everyone you knew.
Your friends, your family...
They didn't know of your whereabouts.
And you wanted to keep it like that.
You planned to give birth to Ivan's child and raise it by yourself. You were going to give it love and cherish it for a long time.
That's what Ivan would have wanted.
I'll always love you too, Ivan... Always...
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